'Not Guilty,' Says Boulder's Alleged Poop-Covered Voyeur

And other developments in world bathroom news.

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Victoria Pickering/Flickr

Are you sitting down for this latest edition of Toilet Tuesday?

T.P. ENDORSES POL, IN MARYLAND

A bathroom-related prank against Baltimore Mayor Stephanie Rawlings-Blake is causing a hot rash on the city's political buttcheeks. In a revelation that was just awkward for all parties involved, local media reported last week that members of the Baltimore City Fire Department had posted photos online of the mayor's face superimposed against toilet paper. Fire Chief James Clack also got the potty treatment, although his mug appeared inside a toilet bowl.

The unionized firefighters who circulated the frustratingly-hard-to-locate photos were allegedly upset over Rawlings-Blake's plan to close some fire companies. Union chief Rick Hoffman said he's disciplined two employees for the stunt, complaining to the Baltimore Sun: "Here I am trying to build a decent foundation for us to work together, and the mayor's face gets posted on toilet paper.” However, mayors must be used to getting crap constantly thrown at them, because Rawlings-Blake said she's “already moved past it.”

WINE, CHEESE CUBES AND GLADE, IN RUSSIA

In a sweeping advance for easily accessible art, a public restroom has become a museum in the capital of the Udmurt Republicudmurt being appropriate as it sounds like something happening in a bathroom. Officials in Izhevsk, a western-Russian city and manufacturing home for the AK-47, say they decided to back the claustrophobic gallery to help raise the public's appreciation of fine art. When it opens in the Central Square on August 19, according to this report in the Moscow Times, bowl hoverers will be able to multitask by both voiding waste and basking in the presence of local painter Sergei Orlov (his art, that is, not Orlov personally). And what does admission cost for "Izhevsk's latest cultural hotspot,” as per the Times? That would be about 10 rubles, or 31 cents, the regular price for using a regular public loo.

"NOT GUILTY," SAYS PORTA-POTTY SPELUNKER

What, does Colorado think it's Florida now? It sure looks that way, with horrible news stories floating out like the Batman theater massacre, the worst wildfires in state history, this baby-bird beater and now admitted portable-toilet voyeur Luke Chrisco. On Friday, Chrisco pleaded not guilty to burglary and unlawful sexual contact after allegedly hiding in the waste tank of a portable toilet at the 2011 Hanuman Festival, a gathering of yoga enthusiasts in Boulder. Granted, his selection of Hanuman was no doubt a subtle compliment to the toned, athletic women in attendance. But one bathroom user didn't see it that way, freaking out after she sensed movement in the torrid seas below. When she got a nearby man involved who noticed the commode suddenly locking from the inside, Chrisco reportedly made a naked, feces-covered flight out of the plastic bathroom.

Since nobody could tackle the suspect at the time (and given the circumstances, who would want to?), cops arrested Chrisco several days later. They told the media that they "found that he hid in crawl spaces and bathrooms around Boulder, including at CU, Naropa University, the Department of Motor Vehicles office and a number of businesses, in order to watch women use the toilet," according to the Daily Camera. When a reporter from that dogged rag interviewed Chrisco in jail, the detainee said he regretted but "enjoyed" his poop mission: "I thought, 'This is really amazing; I've been blessed and anointed by the makers of life.'"

Top photo courtesy of Victoria Pickering on Flickr.

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