Because it just means you're exactly like everyone else. The problem with Apple theft is so bad it's having an effect on the overall crime rate for New York City.
"If you just took away the jump in Apple, we’d be down for the year," Marc La Vorgna, Mayor Bloomberg’s press secretary, told The New York Times. Crime in New York, for the most part, is on the decline. 2012 saw the murder rate in Gotham City hit a new record low: 414 murders in 2012, compared to 471 in 2009. Which is great! And the police are excited about their numbers, because it means they're doing their job and the city is safe, even if it's mostly because of questionable policies like stop and frisk.
But the one thing holding them back from having a positive year across the board is the confusing increase in Apple-related thefts:
The Police Department said thefts of Apple products had risen by 3,890, which was more than the overall increase in "major crimes."
Seriously, they have no idea how to stop it or what's triggering it. (Except the overall coolness of Apple products, we guess.) And it's not really something you can fight directly, because you can't protect citizens who have Apple stuff more than, say, citizens with Android stuff. That creates more concerning problems in the long run.
But, we should mention, Android users are free to complain if their stuff gets stolen. "[Police Commissioner Ray] Kelly said the thefts of non-Apple devices had declined," the Times notes.
Top image: New York Police Department officers wait to register newly purchased iPhones outside of the Apple Store on 5th Avenue following the release of the Apple iPhone 5 phone in New York. (Lucas Jackson/Reuters)
This post originally appeared on The Atlantic Wire.