Do you want to go bird-watching in Chicago with Jeanne Gang? Blow smoke rings in Copenhagen with Bjarke Ingels? Um, get in a hot tub with Charles Renfro?

Anything is possible through the Van Alen Institute. The New York nonprofit architecture organization is hosting an "experience auction" to fund its research and public programming. Architects, artists, academics, curators, and other practitioners from the design field are willing to get down with you (and your friends!)—for the right price.

Some of these experiences sound pleasant in the extreme:

  • Explore the Mississippi River Delta from a small plane with Trey Trahan. Touring this captivating region by air will reveal the dynamism of the river’s morphology and its effects on the built environment. Don’t worry, a professional pilot will be at the controls! (Yes, please.)
  • Feed your inner clothes-horse with an exclusive afternoon with menswear designer Patrik Ervell. Meet Ervell at his NYC studio where you will see his newest collection, get a private fitting, and have a glass (or two) of wine. You'll walk out a new man. (You don't have to twist my arm.)
  • Pop a bottle of prosecco with Mark Robbins, president of the American Academy in Rome, at the 17th-century Villa Aurelia atop Janiculum Hill. You and a friend are then invited to attend the Academy's exclusive gala in June 2016—the Italian capital's social event of the season. (Cries a single tear.)

I'm not sure what a "genomic library calculator tattoo" is, but I'd trust Liam Gillick more than most artists to come up with a tasteful equation to permanently ink on my skin. Personally, I mean to bid on Nada Debs's guided tour of the art scene in Beirut. Or maybe the New York tutorial from @mjfiii and @cbmy Instagram game could use some work.

Who am I kidding? I can't pass up on that hot-tub roundtable.