Go into a grocery store. Pretend to fall down while carrying two gallons of milk. Post on the Internet.

What is it with kids and their milk nowadays? Before, you couldn't force them to drink the moo juice, and now they're flailing all around in it like they're on fire and milk is the only thing that can put it out.

If you recall your high-larious off-the-wall fads of late, first there came a bunch of guys pouring cartons of milk over themselves in public places. "Milking" blazed fiercely for about half a second before falling into obscurity. It was fun, but it didn't involve the ingredient of personal danger that made "planking" such a popular and lethal worldwide hit.

So will "gallon smashing" – the act of pretending to trip in a grocery store while throwing gallons of milk or juice to the floor – catch on where milking didn't? Who cares. Honestly, the only reason this is posted here is in case it turns out that one of these kids severely sprained a tailbone, the grocery-store employees who cleaned up their messes can get a good laugh watching it happen.

If you're wondering who the geniuses behind gallon smashing are, DCist identifies them as "Stupid Jerkass Northern Virginia Teenagers," which having grown up in the area sounds about right. The site also offers the proper etiquette for dealing with them should you cross paths in the dairy aisle: If you spot a "teenager sprawled on the floor of a supermarket after appearing to drop his groceries, just leave him there and don't offer any assistance."

About the Author

Most Popular

  1. Perspective

    Untangling the Housing Shortage and Gentrification

    Untangling these related but different problems is important, because the tactics for solving one won’t work for the other.

  2. A cyclist rides on the bike lane in the Mid Market neighborhood during Bike to Work Day in San Francisco,
    Perspective

    Why We Need to Dream Bigger Than Bike Lanes

    In the 1930s big auto dreamed up freeways and demanded massive car infrastructure. Micromobility needs its own Futurama—one where cars are marginalized.

  3. a photo of the Maryland Renaissance Festival
    Life

    The Utopian Vision That Explains Renaissance Fairs

    What’s behind the enduring popularity of all these medieval-themed living-history festivals?

  4. a photo of police and residents of Stockton, CA, in a trust-building workshop
    Equity

    A Police Department’s Difficult Assignment: Atonement

    In Stockton, California, city and law enforcement leaders are attempting to build trust between police and communities of color. Why is this so hard to do?

  5. Maps

    A Comprehensive Map of American Lynchings

    The practice wasn’t limited to the South, as this new visualization of racial violence in the Jim Crow era proves.

×