Go into a grocery store. Pretend to fall down while carrying two gallons of milk. Post on the Internet.

What is it with kids and their milk nowadays? Before, you couldn't force them to drink the moo juice, and now they're flailing all around in it like they're on fire and milk is the only thing that can put it out.

If you recall your high-larious off-the-wall fads of late, first there came a bunch of guys pouring cartons of milk over themselves in public places. "Milking" blazed fiercely for about half a second before falling into obscurity. It was fun, but it didn't involve the ingredient of personal danger that made "planking" such a popular and lethal worldwide hit.

So will "gallon smashing" – the act of pretending to trip in a grocery store while throwing gallons of milk or juice to the floor – catch on where milking didn't? Who cares. Honestly, the only reason this is posted here is in case it turns out that one of these kids severely sprained a tailbone, the grocery-store employees who cleaned up their messes can get a good laugh watching it happen.

If you're wondering who the geniuses behind gallon smashing are, DCist identifies them as "Stupid Jerkass Northern Virginia Teenagers," which having grown up in the area sounds about right. The site also offers the proper etiquette for dealing with them should you cross paths in the dairy aisle: If you spot a "teenager sprawled on the floor of a supermarket after appearing to drop his groceries, just leave him there and don't offer any assistance."

About the Author

Most Popular

  1. Passengers line up for a bullet train at a platform in Tokyo Station.
    Transportation

    The Amazing Psychology of Japanese Train Stations

    The nation’s famed mastery of rail travel has been aided by some subtle behavioral tricks.

  2. A person walks past the Johns Hopkins Hospital in Baltimore.
    Equity

    Revisiting the New Urban Crisis

    The shift toward a more inclusive urbanism has begun. But it will require time, commitment from city institutions, and political agency at the local level.

  3. LOVE sculpture in a center city.
    Design

    Who Owns LOVE?

    Just days before Robert Indiana’s death, an offshore shell company filed a copyright suit against him over his beloved public artwork.

  4. A man sleeps in a doorway in downtown Portland, Ore., on Sept. 19, 2017.
    Equity

    A Healthcare Giant Enters the Battle for Cheaper Housing

    Kaiser Permanente is pledging $200 million toward fighting homelessness and building more low-cost housing in eight states, plus D.C.

  5. A metal sculpture in the shape of a corn cob near a road in Iowa City, Iowa.
    Life

    Rural and Urban America Have More in Common Than You Think

    A new Pew Research Center survey shows where the geographical divide is overstated.