Xoco 325

A one-act play about a comic book about a condominium development.

—What the flaming’...?

—Did those—did those guys just leap off the roof?!

—Say, isn’t that the old Tootsie Roll factory? This is Grand and West Broadway, right? I hear they’re turning that building into luxury condos.

*Clink!* (Xoco 325)

—This is SoHo. We’re two blocks from a Bloomingdale’s and New York Magazine. Of course they’re turning it into condos.

—But I read they weren’t. They’ve been saying they were going to turn this chocolate factory into condos for seven years. Want another brosé?

—Yes of course, it’s a holiday. Well I read they were making a comic book about the building.

—About the chocolate factory?

—About the condo development at that chocolate factory. Xoco 325.

—Wait, how do you say that?

—It’s pronounced ”Xoco 325.” It’s Catalan for “chocolate.” Anyway, Shawn Martinbrough is doing the comic.

—That guy from...

— Yes, that guy! The artist doing Thief of Thieves with Robert Kirkman, creator of the hit Image Comics series and noted television adaptation, The Walking Dead.

—The same artist whose work on Batman: Detective Comics was blurbed as “classic noir” by Salon? He’s doing a comic about a chocolate factory?

From the sketchbook. (DDG Partners)

—He’s doing a comic book about a condo development inside a chocolate factory. Everyone’s doing condo comics. Or, wait—everyone is doing steampunk condos. Everyone’s doing condo comics and steampunk condos.

—Is this the first comic book made about real estate? [eats last Kalamata olive]

—Arguably, Daredevil has always been about real estate. As you’ll no doubt recall, Jeet Heer made the novel argument in The New Republic that the villain in the new-ish adaptation for Netflix is really gentrification. At least until season 2 comes out, when we get The Punisher.

—The Punisher? As in, like, Governor Andrew Cuomo?

Yes, that’s precisely correct.

—OK, what is a comic book about deluxe dwellings inside a Tootsie Roll factory about, even?

—If it’s any good at all, it’s going to have a fight scene over the $1 million parking spots they’re selling in Steampunk Tribeca.

—Ugh. The Parking Dead.

[SCENE]

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