John Metcalfe was CityLab’s Bay Area bureau chief, covering climate change and the science of cities.
Act like a mad paleontologist who reanimated a dinosaur for only $2,000.
For folks who want to ride the bones of a long-dead lizard, Portland’s Craigslist—that noted repository of dubious goods and services—has got you covered with a $2,000 bike shaped like a skinless T. rex.
“Presenting your chance to be the proud owner of the only dinosaur skeleton that has been reanimated through the mysteries of science and technology,” writes the seller, who’s based in Eugene. “She is a beautiful fosillized juvenile Tyrannosaurus Rex who now consents for me to harness and ride her in parades and other special events.”
The self-described engineer and bike fabricator says he spent months making the 12-foot-long, 90-pound recumbent tricycle, which is named “Sue.” But he has come to the conclusion he’s not the “right rider for this beautiful creature.” Are you? Maybe these specs and warnings will help you decide (no joyrides!):
-Head is a marionette that turns side to side and opens her jaw; controlled by wire from handlebars
-Arms are attached to pedals and can be controlled in combination with head to create believable performances (Sue can answer questions, wave at audience, snap her jaws in excitement, disgust, hunger, etc.)
-Disassembles using basic tools into multiple pieces to fit within a pick-up truck bed for easy(er) transport to events
-Sue requires frequent touch-ups to her paint and foam. There are always bits of the sculpture rubbing against one another because she is a moving, kinetic, scultpure [sic]. I will include a bucket of textured paint with her.
-Sue has handling quirks because of the geometry tricks and illusions I had to pull to make a vehicle that seemed to have the proportions of a real dinosaur. She is not a daily-driver dinosaur but is perfect for parades or the playa. She has good brakes and is stable enough if you know her limits. I'd be happy to offer dino riding lessons to prospective buyers. Please don’t call just for joy-rides...