Craigslist

★★SPECTACULAR★★ BROWNSTONE CANDY BAR!!! EASILY CONVERTS INTO 12 BARS!!!

If you've ever perused apartment listings in the classifieds, or spent any amount of time on Craigslist, you are probably familiar with the particular tropes of the art form: So many exclamation points!!! THE UNNECESSARY ALL CAPS. The legally required utilities recast as luxury. And, for entirely inexplicable reasons, ★★★stars★★★!

It's all crafted as supporting evidence for the one detail that can't be airbrushed: the price tag. (Newly Renovated, Stunning, Spacious Studio w/ Private Terrace! $2199) Based on unscientific assessment, we'll posit that the more ridiculous the rent, the more absurd the rental ad. Which also means, if you've been hunting for a home in New York, or Washington, or San Francisco, you've probably seen the best of the genre.

This brings us to The Broker Bodega, a particularly therapeutic Tumblr send-up of the comic world of rental ads (yes, this world has spawned a lot of great Tumblrs, because what are you going to do with a $3,000, 300 square-foot luxury affordable basement studio but laugh, and then cry, and then blog about it?).

So, as Dan Brill's Broker Bodega wonders, "What if NYC apartment brokers ran a bodega?" Well, probably this:

And this:

And this:

★★★!

About the Author

Most Popular

  1. A rendering of a co-living building in San Jose.
    Life

    The Largest Co-Living Building in the World Is Coming to San Jose

    The startup Starcity plans to build an 800-unit, 18-story “dorm for adults” to help affordably house Silicon Valley’s booming workforce.

  2. a photo of yellow vest protesters in Paris, France.
    Equity

    To Understand American Political Anger, Look to ‘Peripheral France’

    French geographer Christophe Guilluy has a controversial diagnosis of working-class resentment in the age of Trump, Brexit, and the Yellow Vests.

  3. Equity

    Is It Better to Be Poor in Bangladesh or in the Mississippi Delta?

    The Nobel laureate Angus Deaton discusses extreme poverty, opioid addiction, Trump voters, robots, and rent-seeking.

  4. a photo of a striking Uber/Lyft driver
    Transportation

    Uber and Lyft Really Don’t Want California to Pass This Worker Rights Bill

    As California considers a gig-work bill to make ride-hailing drivers employees eligible for benefits and bargaining rights, Uber and Lyft ask for compromise.

  5. Environment

    The Rise, Fall, and Possible Rebirth of 100 Resilient Cities

    Internal communications shed new light on the Rockefeller Foundation’s decision to stop funding the global climate nonprofit, and hint at what might come next.

×