An L.A. Times investigative report reveals that not all Thin Mints are created equal.

Just when you thought journalism was dead, the L.A. Times goes all out on an investigative report on Girl Scout Cookies.

Because not all cookies are created equal. In fact, they're baked by two separate bakers—ABC Bakers and Little Brownie Bakers, which are distributed in a patchwork around the country.

And, depending on where you live, your local scouts might be selling you a decidedly inferior product. This you can determine by entering your address into the L.A. Times' interactive map.

Perhaps you're vaguely aware of the fact that there are both "Samoas" and "Caramel deLites" distributed by the vested lasses? Well, the former are baked by Little Brownie Bakers, and the latter by ABC Bakers, according to two distinct recipes.

"More cookie than caramel"; "milkier chocolate"—the ABC version's flavor profile is just a jumble of euphemisms for "cheap." Little Brownie Bakers clearly wins.

What about Thin Mints? Surely they are an American classic that no baker would dare degrade.

Wrong. ABC is underperforming once again. Who wants "more mint than chocolate"?

Boston, Philly, and you other huge swathes of the U.S. being swindled into settling for ABC's abstemious cookies: I am so sorry. Though I suppose your support of Girl Scouts learning important business skills is purer than our craven hedonism. Even if it makes you a crazy person.

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