Fisticuffs, a bullhorn, meter maids, brutal rhymes—this ditty’s got it all.

A few days ago, I witnessed the absolute dumbest fight I’ve ever seen—right here in the broad daylight of San Francisco.Today I was going to write my usual third-person-bastard account of the incident. But I'm trying to stretch myself into scary new forms of writing. So, regrettably for you, I instead used my footage of the fight to write a song.The best way to watch this video is to not watch it. The second best way is to rotate your phone and tap the barely-visible “HD” button in the bottom right after opening the video. Thanks to my friends who continue to support my close calls with sanity.

Posted by Blake Ross on Friday, October 23, 2015

Last week, Blake Ross was jarred from his Mission District roost by a ruckus in the street. Looking outside, he found a chaotic farce unfolding: a man riding on a bike with a megaphone, yelling at a tow-truck operator, and soon being yelled at by a half-naked dude in a window.

That man came downstairs and that’s when a ton of meter maids got involved and punches started flying. Ross preserved it all on film. But rather than just post it for mockery on YouTube, he devoted significant effort to turning it into perhaps the greatest musical short of 2015, mixing oh-so San Francisco quotes such as, “You, sir, are a Nazi sympathizer!” with rhymes like, “It’s the asshat hat-trick / We’re in an asshat bubble, Mitt.”

Ross, a co-creator of Mozilla Firefox who dabbles in fan fiction for Mike Judge’s Silicon Valley, explains his wonderful ballad on Facebook:

A few days ago, I witnessed the absolute dumbest fight I’ve ever seen—right here in the broad daylight of San Francisco.

Today I was going to write my usual third-person-bastard account of the incident. But I’m trying to stretch myself into scary new forms of writing. So, regrettably for you, I instead used my footage of the fight to write a song.

The best way to watch this video is to not watch it. The second best way is to rotate your phone and tap the barely-visible “HD” button in the bottom right after opening the video.

Be warned the video contains profanity, some Latin, and Ross’s weirdly distorted voice, which he says is “me after taking every pitch slider I could find and dragging it to the far right.”

H/t SFist

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