A criminal lumberjack can steal it in seconds.

What’s more annoying than having your bike stolen right off the street? How about when a thief cuts down an entire tree doing so, leaving your block that much more deforested?

Evidence of such a crime recently surfaced on surveillance-camera footage ostensibly recorded Monday somewhere in China. A man approaches a bike locked to a medium-sized tree with a handsaw. He starts cutting and then timber!, the tree falls to the sidewalk. He then carries the bike off on a scooter, in a heist pulled off in less than 80 seconds.

So remember, kids: Always lock to something metal lodged rock-solid in the ground, preferably with a U-lock through the rear triangle.

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