Rogue River PD

“It is now green mulch,” say the cops.

Kudos to the world’s most honest dude in Rogue River, Oregon, who stumbled upon a portable toilet brimming with weed and did not immediately tow it to his backyard.

“A man walking his dog through Anna Classick Park [Wednesday] morning just before 9am, stopped to use the Porta-Potty next to the tennis courts… and found this,” writes the Rogue River Police Department. “Got marijuana? We Do!”

Detectives have yet to crack the mystery of the marijuana-filled crapper; it could’ve been a “pick up point to a disgruntled citizen making a statement about all the marijuana grows,” reports the AP. Another theory is somebody ripped off a legal operation and was hiding the loot. If that’s true, the thief picked a poor target: Facebook commenters are nearly unanimous in agreeing it’s some “shitty weed,” with “no buds” that would give you a “nasty headache.”

Whatever the reason, the stash—the largest-ever handled by the local cops—is gone now. Workers fed it through a municipal wood chipper, churning out a carpet of dank confetti. “It is now green mulch,” the police department writes. “Let’s just hope we don't get some suspicious looking green plants coming up through the ground next year at the city’s Public Works yard.”

But we’ll always have the memories:

Facebook commenter: “i think there is something tucked under his shirt!!!??? just sayin!!”
Rogue River PD

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