Can You Top This Horror Story About a Disastrous Upstairs Neighbor?

As I watched the contents of my neighbors’ bowels spread across my kitchen Wednesday night, I thought about what had been, until that point, the worst thing I could say about the people who lived above me.

For the last year and change I've lived in a basement apartment in the bottom of a four-story apartment building in Washington, D.C.'s Adams Morgan neighborhood. Until last night, the only downside to living here had been the girls upstairs. They partied on weeknights, wore their heels inside, and liked to hang out on the balcony. They recently moved out and a young artist moved in.